Announcing a New Program: CharacterCursed!
People of character are annoying, petty, boring, and proud. They impose themselves upon the rest of the world and assume that they are authorities on any given matter simply for having character.
Therefore, we are announcing a new character-reform program: CharacterCursed! This program is designed to identify people of character and reform them, eliminating all traces of character.
CharacterCursed! uses a ten-step reform program for persons of character. Steps include:
- Burning all character-related materials
- Eliminating all character words from vocabulary
- Sleep deprivation to bring out irritability
- The use of Demotivators from Despair.com, including Potential reminders.
- Public relations campaign employing slogans such as "Character doesn't pay"
- Exploiting a person's character qualities
Example of how the program works:
Person of Character: "Hi, I'm a person of character! I exhibit obedience!"
CharacterCursed!: "Here, drink this poison."
Person of Character: (enthusiastically) "Yes sir!"
Another example of character exploitation:
Person of Character: "Hi, I'm a person of character! I exhibit loyalty!"
CharacterCursed!: "You can work for my company for free. Also, please will your first-born to my corporation."
Person of Character: (enthusiastically) "Right away!"
This extremely effective program will ensure that we no longer have to endure people of character.