Gothard Replaces Board with 80's Rockers
OAK BROOK, Illinois - IBLP today announced a massive restructuring of its advisory board. Bill Gothard fired his board, replacing the respected pastors, businessmen and politicians with ex-80's rockers and other entertainment figures. Seated on the new board are Stevie Nicks, Ozzy Osbourne, Rod Stewart, Gene Simmons and the entire Journey crew.
"These men and women bring the wisdom of Solomon to IBLP," said a spokesperson. "Just as Solomon lived a profligate life and saw in the end that all was vanity, vanity, these ex-rockers have experienced every sinful pleasure in life and are now ready to raise up godly generations."
"I'm just really [deleted] honored," commented Osbourne. "I've been attending the Basic for years and now to sit on the board--it's a dream come true."
Staff at IBLP Headquarters indicate that despite their age, the ex-rockers bring a certain energy to the HQ site. One staffer admitted to being a little skeptical: "When Mr. Gothard first announced this I thought he lost it. But I'm starting to come around. Rod Steward is just a really cool guy."