Wednesday, November 23, 2005

Official Drink of IBLP
OAK BROOK, Illinois - Long a fan of soft drinks, Bill Gothard recently announced a pending endorsement deal with Coca-Cola. Details are still being worked out, he said, but he looks forward to a mutually profitable relationship. "Imagine it," he said. "Navy and white, with a can of Coke. It will be the official drink of IBLP!"

Gothard quickly pointed out that Christians should avoid ungodly products such as alcohol and coffee. "But nothing refreshes the soul like a cold Coke. Wow, we could use that in a commercial!"

"Hopefully this will forever settle the Coke vs. Pepsi debate that rages among Christian young people and distracts them from serving Christ," he said.


Blogger A.E.C said...

Apparently, he hadn't yet met with the directors of all training centers to discuss this. If he had, he would be far more aware that carbonated beverages are frequently banned from TC's in the attempt to keep distracting stimulants away from impressionable students.

While this is a decision that many tyrants-in-training resent, some have found it incredibly helpful to their spiritual life. "How else would I be able to whole-heartedly focus on the word of God?! If I was drinking soft drinks, I wouldn't be sure if it was my enthusiam for the Word which caused me to memorize three chapters, or just a caffeine buzz! The banning of soft drinks has made me a much more spiritual person."

Perhaps this is a attempt to test the true loyalty of those who love Christ?

5:31 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Once again Bill has discerned God's best for my life. Rejoice!!! Rejoice!!! All these years I have been a carnal Christian drinking Pepsi; now I can be a righteous Christian drinking Coca-Cola.

7:23 AM  
Blogger Never-ati'er said...

Two great things that go GREAT together, just like in the commericals of old with a bit of ad-lib:

Have a Coke and a ... SMILE(of radiance and with beautiful countenance!) :)p

7:36 AM  
Blogger IDigAK said...

yeah...and aside from the caffiene content, i'm pretty sure the sugar level is well above the ati-legal limit. don't you know that your body is the temple of the holy spirit and don't you know what sugar does to rot your insides out?!?!?!?!? why would you treat the temple of God this way?!?!?!!?

8:04 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

All we need now is a Brittany Spears look-a-like to prance around on a commercial. Shouldn't be too hard...just look for one of those "young ladies" that Mr. G likes to travel around with...

8:14 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Just dress the Britney Spears lookalike in a ridiculously long navy skirt and a long-sleeved turtleneck (modesty, of course; can't defraud young men, because apparently the sight of a woman's collarbone or knees makes them lose control of their urges), and have her sing the "Alive-alert-awake-enthusiastic" song, only insead of finishing it with "about Christ", finish it with, "About Coke"

There you go! The perfect ATI CocaCola commercial!

10:47 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The last post was great! :)

8:18 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey, have you guys ever looked up "Bill Gothard" in Wikipedia? Check it out...

There's more information on there than most IBLP-staffers every learned about him while working at HQ... and I worked there for years. Seems well-written and objective, though!

5:39 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

He's in Wikipedia??

11:09 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

yeah that was interesting - wikipedia! ... it is interesting to contemplate - the "cover up" they were talking about - The only other option (not sure if it would be desirable) would've been for him to come forward and say, "We apologize." However, why should _he_ apologize?! He didn't do it! The only retort I can think of, to that, is that it's his fault to begin with, because he (by his restrictions and legalism) has driven people (such as Mr. Voeller) to do these things. But I can't expect _him_ to recognize that yet. He has a totally different viewpoint. And of course, it was mainly the fault of Voeller / others who made the final choice to actually commit sin (or mistake, if you prefer that word). However, one could make the case to at least partially blame Gothard for it, because of the environment; but I cannot expect Gothard to recognize any such thing any time soon.

7:20 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

or - OK -- You might say, instead of apologizing [or suppressing], that Mr. Gothard should have come forward & said "We deplore this, we condemn, we do not condone." ("we do not condone what Voeller did" for example...) However, as he does enough condemning as it is, I rather think that he did just as well keeping his mouth shut as not.

7:23 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Now that I think about might've condemned Gothard either way, y'know? Whether he spoke out about it, or "covered it up", or apologized, or's still a bad thing, and it's still going to tick people off. I'm no supporter...I'm just saying maybe there wasn't really anything he could've done that would lessen the reactions; that whole thing was just messed up, no matter what.

2:54 AM  
Blogger Viki said...

Back on the Pepsi and Coke post... Am I the only one who never started liking soda after having left the program?

4:36 AM  
Anonymous Dies Irae said...

We're allowed to drink soda? But it doesn't have any fiber in it. (Well, the original Dr. Pepper did, but that was a long time ago...)

11:24 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Yes, you can drink Coke as long as you make it yourself. Just like white bread, store bought Coca-Cola has no fiber and all the nutrients have been removed. Therefore, when you make your Coca-Cola be sure to include high quality whole wheat flour.

7:56 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Mix in some "Emer-gen-C" and some kind of "Green Kamut" or "Blue-Green" powder, that'll sanctify it.

1:40 PM  
Anonymous mk himself said...

Isn't all pop (aka soda, Coke) acidic? Therefore it would have to be counteracted with that much more salad. Five and a half years after the HQ salad binge, I'm still dietarily scarred ;-)

On a side note-- in my TC experience (OKTC, Indy, Northwoods, HQ) Dr Pepper had the most religious following, with Mt. Dew probably in second.

7:26 AM  
Blogger Lisalia said...

Way back when, they sold cokes at the Indy TC as well as candy bars. That way we could stock up for Sunday. When did they say we had to mix barley green with our soda to sanctify it?

9:02 PM  
Blogger Big n' Bad said...

I was there when you could go into the little charachter(sp) shop and buy buter fingers and some other things, like Dp. I think that was only when we had seminars and conferences in though, so that may explain why I remember them, but I was encouraged to use self control and not go through four butterfingers in one day.

9:42 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

anyone remember Gothard saying "the whiter the bread: the quicker you're dead" ?!?

12:20 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

once @ INDY we added a little *spirits* to our coke bottles. it was a matter of survival actually. anybody else do that?

12:24 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Coke, Pepsi, or Dr. Pepper, none of these were my concern. I was worried about vats of grape cool-aid being wheeled out for the mass suicide.

11:53 PM  

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