Sunday, January 22, 2006

Man receives forwarded Daily Success emails: no joy, no peace
DALLAS, TEXAS - A Dallas man expressed frustration that ever since reading the new Daily Success updates from Mr. Gothard, his spiritual life has not only failed to improve, but has taken a turn for the worse.

"Ever since I started receiving Daily Success I have felt spiritually oppressed," stated the frustrated spiritual life self-improvement enthusiast, "Is God punishing me for not paying for these emails? Will my sin cause my children to be punished as well?"

In response to similar situations, the Institute has released a three step approach to getting the full spiritual blessing out of Daily Success:

Pray for guidance in everyday life
Ask God for the strength to follow His will
Yoke not yourself with those who do not share the same level of commitment to higher standards

Daily Success has over 3,000 paying subscribers. However, the Institute is worried that an organized email forwarding campaign is taking place. In fact, IBLP has announced that they will be joining with Hollywood industry executives in their new "copying is stealing" campaign.

Institute legal staff are optimistic that prosecution of those caught forwarding Daily Success will begin in earnest in the next month or so. Sadly, the man in Dallas continues his struggle with Daily Success induced guilt.


Blogger JD said...

Can't help it. I laughed. Thanks.

7:56 PM  
Anonymous Stephie said...

ROFL.... that's awesome... you know, if it weren't for all the inside jokes, I would perscribe this to my friends at PUBLIC school.... laughter is GREAT medicine....

7:17 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


yep, that's Gothard. What if we could rap that into a song?

Gotta pay your way/ Or else you just can't stay....

8:39 PM  
Anonymous JenniO said...

I love it! I just found your blog and I really didnt know there was anybody else out there. I am 28 and just starting to GET OVER the influence of BG baloney during my childhood. Please keep making me laugh. I'M FREE!!!

10:29 PM  
Blogger Drschplatt said...

I wonder if they're gonna start working with SONY as well?

1:38 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

yeah...have some showcase families and students talk about the dangers of DailySuccess piracy.
this is funny, x-er!

11:04 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Does anyone know if Bill subscribes to "Daily Success"?

10:31 AM  
Anonymous Jeremy said...

I don't care if you agree with ATI, or IBLP, or Mr. Gothard. But the bible says, "Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things." -if your a Christian, please get your mind out of the gutter..

10:21 AM  
Blogger Richard said...

This to Jeremy,

Your post was a non-sequitur, just so ya know. Thats latin. But you won't learn latin in the ATIA. It means you made no sense. If you want to do some good, go post that on a porn website. I mean, you'll find lots of people with their minds in the gutter there.

But here? Nah. We're so busy thinking lovely, pure, and holy thoughts.

And I think the fact that Gothard is charging a buck a week for Scripture from the public domain is a great report. Don't you? Now if he could only incorporate MLM into that . . .


11:15 AM  
Blogger Richard said...

And for the Latin geeks, yes I know non sequitur means "It does not follow".


11:17 AM  
Blogger Viki said...

This also to Jeremy... no, on second thought, why bother? Richard said it so well... You just didn't make any sense!

4:58 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

To Jeremy: Gutter? What gutter? I read and read, and found no gutter.

9:42 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Jeremy sounds bitter.

1:22 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Just found this site! It's so awesome to find out I'm not alone! This is GREAT therapy! I read the "daily success" letter to my husband (non-home schooled, and actually a teacher in a *gasp* public school)...the "WTF?!" look on his face was pricesless. I said "yeah! it WAS/IS really THAT bad!" don't think he believed how brain-washing ATI really IS... It is hard to understand the HELL growing up with that kind of pressure is like; unless you actually LIVED through it. So thanks guys! ;) Made my day!

12:07 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Jeremy needs to reclaim ground he has given to Satan.

10:14 AM  
Blogger Lauryl said...

reminds me way too much of how much we were charged to live in a "ministry" situation at training centers, where we ate left-over plane food and weren't allowed to talk to boys...

7:36 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

lol! left-over plane food! don't forget the annoying "music" we had to wake up to (at INDY) at like 4 am! my roomies & I used to stack pillows in front of the speakers!

2:22 PM  
Anonymous chyca said...

Hey at least when you were in Indy they fed you. Currently they've been on the "brunch schedule" (2 meals a day) since Thanksgiving. Rumor has it we're going back to 3 meals for the health confernece, because of course the Big G and all those guests have to eat 3 times a day, even if we dont.

7:48 AM  
Blogger Lisalia said...

Chyca, I bet they have incorporated the brunch schedule to make you buy snacks and therefore make more money. You are right about special meals for special guests, it is the way of the world.

8:45 AM  

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