Monday, March 12, 2007

Coming Soon to a TV near you (if you have a TV near you)...

XATI-TV. This new TV station attempts to bring quality family-friendly programming to an audience that is greatly unreached by the medium of television: ATI families. Programming consists of new fare (none of the old movies you have seen many times over) that current and former participants in the ATI program will be able to readily identify with.

The new lineup on XATI-TV includes the following shows which are guaranteed to be a wonderful blessing to you and your family.

Family Fella
Homeschool Dad
Steps to Freedom from "American Idols"
The O(K)C
Everybody Loves Gothard
Seven Non-Optional Principles Before Courting My Teenage Daughter
Miss Modesty Pageant
The Sopranos: It Will Be Worth It All
South Campus
Survivor: Eagle Mountain
Rules Prior To Engagement
World Series of Character Clues
The Unit: 37 (ALERT Edition)
Training Center Musical
Oak Brook, 60522
Judging Others
Pilot Families: The Next Generation
Character Hotel
Sabrina, The Teenage Staff Girl
Walker, Texas Drill Instructor
Married...With (Many) Children
theTV Unplugged
Eight Is Not Enough

Our late-night fare may not be suitable for impressionable children, but provides an alternative to traditional late-night TV.

Prayer Closet Break
Desperate Midwives
CSI: Indy TC
How I Courted Your Mother
Northwoods Exposure (Warning: contains brief scenes involving pants)

-Submitted by JN


Anonymous Anonymous said...

"The Sopranos: It Will Be Worth it All ..."

That's hilarious-- just love it!

7:59 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"Seven Non-Optional Principles Before Courting My Teenage Daughter"

Oh, there were so many more than 7! This is, once again, hilarious.

9:31 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You forgot all the home improvement and cooking shows. We need a Tim Allen and a Rachel Ray. Maybe a Tyra Banks? America's Next Top Homemaker, perhaps.

11:10 AM  
Anonymous JN said...

There were many more that I could have done, but I was lacking some creativity the night I wrote those up.

In addition to "America's Next Top Homemaker", how about...

Home Cleansing (starring Timothy)
30 Minute (Healthy) Meals

2:36 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

haha, that's just hilarious!

3:18 PM  
Blogger Four Eyes said...

What a blessing... just what I have been crying out for.

11:55 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You guys are people must have been seriously screwed up by the whole ATI thing -- you'd be much happier if you just forgot about it and moved on...

11:42 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

^^^^Every time I plan to move on some loving ATI like yourself rips into me and sets my therapy back 10 years.

11:57 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

^^^^I don't love it -- I've just figured out that forgetting about it is the best therapy. I left it behind 10 years ago.

12:09 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

^Then don't remind the rest of us of it! Good therapy for most of us is to be able to laugh at what used to bother us.

7:45 PM  
Anonymous angela said...

ahhh, thanks, x-er! this made my saturday morning... but now i think i have to kill ya for putting that stupid soprano refrain in my head while i'm trying to enjoy a coffee and some johnny cash.

ok, anonymous... get a grip. we sure did. who's the one who has forgotten how to take a joke, eh? the joke was on me for a long time... i did get over that and it doesn't stop me from laughing now!

8:55 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Yeah! I mean, this is funny even for me who didn't grow up in ATI.

4:59 PM  
Blogger TulipGrrl said...


I'd tune in for Desperate Midwives. . .

3:52 PM  
Anonymous forliberty said...

if anonymous has really moved on, what's he/she doing reading this site?? come on, admit it, it's funny, and that's why you're here, just like the rest of us!

12:18 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

rFunny i will watch those girls in pants i just hope that the fcc does not catch them=)

8:36 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said... are back in top form Xer. :)

7:33 PM  
Blogger Walt said...

Hey, I'd tune in for Miss Modesty Pageant! :-)

2:06 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Also, "Modest Eye For the ATI Guy"

7:06 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"Wheel...of...Nonoptional Scriptural Principals"

4:50 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

has Bill Gothard really said something along the lines of "No mature Christian would get any benefit from Contemporary Christian Music"


11:18 AM  
Blogger wherethetruthlies said...

yes... Americas Next Top Homemaker!!!!!! that is a great one!

6:51 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

IBLP Idol. Final Contestants: Fanny J. Crosby or Isaac Watts. You make the vote.

12:54 PM  
Blogger Material Gyrl said...

“Marriage Partners Anatomy”

8:01 AM  
Blogger Material Gyrl said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

8:02 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"Oakbrook Squares"

5:42 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

WOW! As a former ATIer (10 years) these are probably the funniest things I ever read! It brought it all back to me....

8:31 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"Bill Knows Best" and "The Young and the Godly"

5:23 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"Dr. Bill Show" and "Late Night With Bill Gothard"

5:43 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"IBLP Friday Night Smackdown"

5:06 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"Gothard Cup Racing" with the ATI, Herbal Tea, Spring Water, Wheat Bread Chevy with driver Hope Chasticy and Crew Chief Johnny B. Goode.

"Northwoods Golf Tournament" at Big Sandy. Officiated by John & John...John Cougar Mellencamp and John Maddon.

"Major League Badmitton" sponsored by Depends Undergarments...need I say more?

"American Blonde Hair Blue Eye Idol" with Judges, Ruth, and Jonah. Judges responds to a contestant "You call that a memory verse? Recite ALL of Psalms 119! Go to the prayer room (closet)!!!"

"Last American Hero: Driving Bill Gothard". :)

8:25 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"The New Adventures of Old Bill"

5:59 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"SpongeBill SquarePants"

6:30 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Don't forget "Ugly Bill" and "Everybody Hates Bill"

4:49 AM  
Anonymous morgan morse said...

The "Wheel of Blessing," "Saved By The Bill," "Home Perfection."

11:59 PM  
Anonymous Momo said...

"The Christ Is Right."

1:01 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"Who wants to be a Godly Christian"

5:18 AM  
Anonymous Momo said...

"Who Wants to Be A Bill-ionaire."

11:29 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"The Vicar of Oakbrook"

6:19 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"Late night with Conan Gothard"

10:46 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

As much as I like the site, I sense that we are all trying to pretend as if ATI detox isn't a serious thing. It was cute or a little over the top. People's lives were torn apart, families town apart, churches, etc... I love the humor, but there are times were I can't even laugh when I think of the people that went there and how broken they are.

WE WERE ALL IN A CULT. I know that I try to get around them because I want to protect by parents. We don't want to think our parents are crazy and used horrible judgement over our lives.

8:32 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Well that was just mean. I never drank the Kool-Aid

1:15 PM  
Anonymous notati said...

Too funny!

8:17 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"Picket Hedges"
"All My Children (Under My Umbrella)"
"Brothers and Sisters: Best Friends"
"Gothard Girls"
"Law and Order: ATI"

6:09 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"Big Character House"

2:16 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"The Power of Ten . . .Nonoptional Scriptural Principles"

2:20 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"Courting with the Stars"

4:13 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You are hilarious!
I love it, I love it!
Someone posted that x-ATIers need to get over it and "move on"! That's great! The fact that I can laugh about all this now instead of pull my hair out, means a whole lot!

11:13 PM  
Anonymous Jenna said...

Are you smarter than a ATI 4th grader!!!

Prison Break: Eagle Springs

10:46 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"Two and a half ALERT men"

12:18 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Billigan's Island

Each character represents one of the seven spiritual gifts

9:53 PM  

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