Monday, June 06, 2005

Fruit of the womb activism
Adam Davis, an ATI father, describes himself as the Robin Hood of Genesis 1:28. Several years ago, while meditating upon this verse, he experienced a startling rhema. "I realized that I, in my own strength, could never fulfill God's call to populate the earth," he said. "The twelve children my wife and I have are only the first step."

Davis decided to take drastic action. After crying out for wisdom, he began visiting grocery and drug stores and covertly poking a pin through the condoms on display. In the last three years he has personally compromised over 10,000 prophylactics. Davis says he is filled with an "indescribable joy" when he contemplates the number of births he has caused. "I think of them as my spiritual children," he says. His dream is to one day bring a group of these young people to sing at the annual ATI Regional Conference in Big Sandy, Texas.

Davis focuses his activism on centers of worship. "It's tragic how many Christians refuse to accept God's command to fill the earth. I try to target stores with a high percentage of Christian customers. Sometimes I'll sit across the street and watch folks pick up their Trojans from the CVS drive-thru on their way home from church," he laughs.

Public health officials in Davis' home town say that the birthrate has quadrupled in the last three years. "It must be something in the water," said one.

23 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

ringoftruth: the first sentence of your comment is correct - x-er is kidding you...so it's o.k., you can stop panicking now.

7:33 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

It always cracks me up when people take posts like this one seriously.

8:27 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Maybe they could use the statistics that the town has collected to come up with an amount for him to pay child support. (I know it's a joke)

9:12 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Right on, Davis! Keep up the good work. RingOfTruth is incorrect in all of his presuppositions about this modern-day heroism... You will notice that Davis has specifically targeted retail outlets near churches, so chances are the unborn kids will not be aborted and the kids will be brought up right.

What a mighty deed! I wish I'd have thought of it myself. From now on, all those gag-gift condoms given to ATI newly-weds are getting the heaven-blessed pin prick...

9:43 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Several years back, someone asked Mr. Gothard if he would accompany them to the drug store to do this very same thing. Bill looked at the guy and with a straight face asked, "What's a comdom?"

4:38 AM  
Blogger Walt said...

This sounds like it was inspired by this...

5:33 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

dark post, eh?

7:30 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

When I was a kid, I would poke holes in the bottom of styrofoam cups... but this condom idea is way better!

I'm still laughing....

11:42 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

A well-meaning young man directed my attention to this site. After a cursory look, if this blog site is non-discriminatory, let me light the fuse and offer a long, generally destructive opinion. Having some familiarity with the IBLP organization, I thought I should weigh in with a little entertainment and a little thoughtfulness.

First, the entertainment: I have recently been reading material from a secular satirist, Mark Twain. While not recommending his philosophy or life-style, I found the short story "What stumped the Blue Jays" to be particularly relevant for this blog site. I encourage reading the narrative for the full humorous experience.

In summary, a Blue Jay sought to fill up a knot-hole he observed in the roof of an abandoned cabin. Not knowing the open connection between the knothole and floor below, the Blue Jay worked furiously and "hove in" acorns until he was worn out. He was pale with rage and, as he was "having his devotions," another Jay stopped to inquire into the matter. He told his story to the astonishment of the other Jay who also inspected the hole from every angle of the compass. Soon, there were more than five thousand Jays all around the cabin, each new Jay offering a more chuckle-headed opinion than the last after hearing the story and viewing the hole. Finally, one Jay looked from the door, observed the pile of acorns on the floor and began to laugh at the ridiculous prospect of the Blue jay who sought to fill a cabin with acorns. He made a general announcement and all the Jays crowded around the door to laugh and see the acorns spread on the floor of the cabin.

Next comes the "thoughtful" part. The relevance may be described as follows: Seeking to fill up the hole of our disappointment relative to our experience in ATI/IBLP is foolishness. There is always more room for sarcasm, more room for satire, more room for inappropriate images and expression. The challenge is that there seems to be insufficient room for true forgiveness, true humility and subsequent "moving on" with our lives. Perhaps I may be a Blue Jay looking in the door of the cabin to say, let's quit this foolishness and move on to something more productive. There is not an organization on the face of this planet that is without corruption. Deal with it. We think we have it tough. For an experience of real christianity, real "it's tough going in this place," read Evidence Not Seen by Darlene Deibler Rose.

How's that for ATI/IBLP jargon?

Christian.

8:07 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I can't tell you how many times I've heard "be fruitful and multiply!" from my parents and I haven't even been married for 2 years! Man! I guess I could be starting on our 2nd kid by now if I were truly following "God's purpose" for marriage.....

8:19 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You guys are crazy!!!!! Seriously, don't you have anything better to do? Just let IBLP/ATI go and walk away. Isn't it enough not to be involved anymore?

8:50 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Lets talk about flaws of logic here ringoftruth...

You said "In this guy's zeal to see the righteous flourish on the earth, he's probably causing the *wrong* kind of people to reproduce themselves."

Who died and made you God to declare who should reproduce and who shouldn't? Perhaps you are the type of person that believes certain people should be forceably sterilized to keep them from breeding?

I mean, for the most part, who is going to buy condoms these days? Maybe a few Christian parents trying to put a little space between the children they have.

Surely you don't really believe that only a few Christians use birth control do you? When I look at the average size of the families in most churches I would say that most husbands and wives probably use some form of birth control. Would you disagree?


You also said that "But, seriously, most of the people out buying condoms are the lost, hopeless addicted to illicit sex."

How do you know that (a) most people who buy condoms are lost? and (b) that most of them are hopelessly addited to illicit sex?

12:33 PM  
Blogger joydle said...

lol!! That's great -- cracked me up! Thanx for the laugh.

9:28 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I laughed too much (guiltily?) as I read this X-ATIer's condom satire. Seriously . . . I almost wanted it to be real so I could laugh more. The sad part is, our mythical, condom-wrecking ATI dad didn't really make it so more babies were conceived, he probably just made a few moronic and now unsafe sex participants get herpes. Yay.

1:09 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Nice. As always, the funniest satire is always just a little beyond the truth. You still have hairy arms.

12:53 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I giggled for days after reading this...my boyfriend and I decided a good gag gift for ATI newlyweds would be such codoms :-p

4:57 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I am not amused. I wonder how many abortions this fool has caused.

4:36 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

ha ha ha....i luv the part where it says "After crying out for wisdom".... in the original post! he he he!!

11:51 AM  
Blogger Brooks Lampe said...

I am sure this has been said before numerous times on this blog by defending commenters, but I'd just like to call to everyone's attention the fact that this is not only sarcasm, but fictional sarcasm at that. Thus, there is no reason to get upset at the possibility that more unwanted babies have been aborted or born into neglectful homes.

And on the other issue, the beating-the-ATI-horse-to-death issue: yes, it would be silly for former ATIers to continue to use therapy as an excuse for mockery, but I would suggest that this blog can be defended on terms of shere fun, i.e., amusment, humor. It is not ATI Christians being mocked, it is their heresy and falsity. It is analogous to saying "hate the sin, not the sinner." In this case we are replacing the word "hate" in that sentence with "laugh at," because (gasp!) X-ATI guy and his audience used to live and breathe that false Christianity. And yet, as bad a ATI's misconceptions are, they are not as awful as real sin. Thus, we cannot "hate" our former lives as much as we can laugh at them. Laugh at them we must. We were confused Christians. Our "awakening" from that confusion is not a second birth, as was our salvation, it was, rather, "coming to" after a dream or hallucination. Yes, we laugh at the house of mirrors from which we have escaped.

Note: I was not an ATI member but I speak as a hypothetical "convert."

10:43 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

To REL:
Who died and made you God to catagorize types of people?

12:31 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

To Brooks:

Note: I was not an ATI member but I speak as a hypothetical "convert."

**Then you really havent a clue of which you speak.**

12:33 PM  
Blogger Gone are the Days said...

Actually, from reading Brooks' post untill I saw the note I was quite sure that he was acutally an X-er. It was a quite good description of at least my feelings as an X-er. So I'd say that he DOES have a clue as to what he's saying.

Seabhag

9:37 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

And yet, as bad a ATI's misconceptions are, they are not as awful as real sin.

**Seabhag, this is what I am referring to.
Clueless.
Who judges what 'real' sin is?
I would think there are many out there in X-er Land who would look at the wrongs of the afore mentioned misconceptions and consider them to be sins.
The place to where most of those misconceptions lead is sin. Whether arrogance, pride, eliteism, judgement of others not to mention the unspeakables of the ATI lifestyle.
I appreciated Brooks' attempt at empathy but was left to dismiss the comment.
Real sin? Who determines that? IMO, it is the Lord only because only he can see the content of the heart and motive.
Just because Brooks has never been burned by the 'faux' sin of ATI misconceptions, doesnt mean the sin is any less present or real.
Which brings me back to his/her post script/note at the end.
Shall I modify my reply to "Then you have only an inkling of knowledge of which you speak. Watch and learn, my friend?" **

6:27 AM  

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