Friday, May 20, 2005

IBLP Eight Ball
IBLP has announced plans to release a powerful new tool in discerning character flaws at the next regional ATI conference. The IBLP Magic Eight Ball will be able to to determine which principle the user violated.

Users can follow a simple process to gain God's direction for their lives by crying out for God's wisdom. They then shake the Eight Ball and can ask any question, such as: "Why is this bad thing happening to me?"

The IBLP Magic Eight Ball will answer accordingly, such as: "You have given ground to Satan through rock music," or "You are bitter," or "You have not grafted enough Scripture into your soul."

ATI families are thrilled to learn of this exciting new tool, and many parents have placed advance orders for the product so that they might wisely direct their sons and daughters.

-Thanks to Mairzy

8 Comments:

Anonymous Shelley said...

LOL, that is great. Thank you for sharing that infomation. Sadly, I could see some people taking it as truth.

1:47 AM  
Anonymous KayaLiz said...

Well, why not a magic 8 ball? He's always treated the Bible like that with rhemas and such. Let's not think about context or the heart of Christianity, just follow the 5 steps for this, 7 steps for that . . . why not just buy a ouigi board? (sorry if I didn't spell that correctly)

6:26 AM  
Blogger Rebecca said...

Where can we place our orders?? Will the IBLP Eight Ball also work for non-ATI families?

Inquiring minds want to know.

6:57 AM  
Anonymous Yo_Daddy said...

I'm going to call IBLP Publications and tell them I want to order one. I wonder if they would gift wrap it for me. LOL! I'll be sure to ask for a manager if the girl on the phone isn't aware of the new product...

12:51 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

well, when I showed and current ATI zombie this site, he said the fact that I found it funny indicated biterness in my soul.

so, save your money if you are looking for bitterness in your children. just log 'em on to X-er and co!

10:04 PM  
Anonymous rebelliousboy said...

is all of this stuff real or is it just anti-ATI hate. I was the only person in my family that hated ATI with a passion. And no one was happier than I was to get out of the program. But this last article is too ridiculous to be true. Please tell me you didn't make this up. Because some of this stuff is just crazy.

1:12 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Whenever someone says to you, "You are bitter." Just respond by saying, "Why are you so vindictive?"

10:42 AM  
Anonymous oink! I'm a pig! said...

Um... it's a joke... o_0

2:15 PM  

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