Saturday, April 30, 2005

50 Cent Booted from The Character Inn
FLINT, Michigan - Rapper 50 Cent was booted from the Character Inn recently after a very brief stay. After a grueling concert schedule, 50 Cent and his posse were ready for rest and relaxation but instead they got the ole heave ho. Realizing that the Character Inn has high standards and is a alcohol and cigarette smoke free Inn, 50 Cent didn't realize that this also included weed free. This was an aroma never smelled before in the Character Inn and since it wasn't tobacco smoke, it wasn't detected until some staff started complaining of feeling a little too good, kind of like a contact high, or the high received by Mr. Gothard's the little back box.

When Fifty and his crew first arrived, the iPod-clad hip hopsters' music selections was "deceitfully shielded due to their headphones," said hotel manager, Ken Pierpont. But evil was at work, and it wasn't long before a dark spirit descended upon the Character Inn, all due to the evil rhythms emanating from the personal head phones. The senior staff of the Character Inn emphasizes that only melodious music is allowed to be played at the Inn, and certainly no music that is loud, distracting or unsettling. "Music is designed to lift one's spirits and be encouraging," Ken relayed to Fifty. "However, we are very concerned with exactly what spirit is being uplifted here."

The last straw occurred when Fifty and his guests were shown to their rooms, and were told of the Inn's strict rules regarding members of the opposite sex staying in their rooms. Even though the rules of the Inn were carefully explained to Fifty, when he started to use the Inn's phones to arrange a booty call he got the boot instead. Fifty and his posse were not charged for their brief stay and Fifty also received a free copy of Hymns Triumphant as a parting gift.

As Ken explained, "You either listen to the music we approve of, and be a standard bearer of the morals and character of The Character Inn, or you will be asked to leave. Just last week we unfortunately had to ask Sandi Patti to leave due to her divorce and her ungodly association with the Contemporary Christian Music scene."

-Submitted by {{{Candleman}}}


Blogger Seabhag said...

As much as I hate to agree with IBLP on the topic of music. I do take comfort that rap isn't music and so agreement with IBLP on this isn't comprimising my own standards.. RAP == Retards Attemping Poetry. I'd have kicked him out too.. But for different reasons.

9:50 AM  
Anonymous Michigander Abroad said...

We should have seen this coming after they banned Isaiah from having a 'fro...

5:29 PM  
Anonymous paperback said...

Seabhag, I know a place thats having a sale on white hoods. You might want to check it out.

12:01 AM  
Blogger Seabhag said...

I'm not racist. I just happen to majorly dislike rap "music" (from any "race" (which by the way is a really stupid designation, since we are all human genetically the only difference in a few genes that code for higher pigmentation, and stuff like that. Nope... I just really really really dislike rap.. I guess my cooment about "for different reasons" was taken the wrong way. the different reasons were still about the music.. but from a totally different angle. My appologies.


5:40 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey seabhag does your belief that rap isn't music make you feel superior to everyone that listens to it? Some people enjoy it- don't be hating.

9:29 PM  
Blogger Seabhag said...

Hey.. not "hating" I just really dislike it.. personal preference.. not a conviction.. I don't feel superiour to someone who thinks it's okay... I really dig Irish music (I play the irish whistles) and I know some people don't consider that music.. Nah... I'm just thinking that while I don't agree with IBLP about their music stance.. I'd have a hard time disagreeing with tossing a rapper out.. (just like some people would have no problem tossing this irish musician out on his ear either)...

10:14 PM  
Anonymous paperback said...

You have defended your non-racist status admirably. My response was evoked by the "retards attempting poetry" acronym. I myself am not really a fan of Rap, but I have heard some very thoughtful, idea-dense language coming from some artists who fall in the rap/hip-hop spectrum. Some things can be distastful and still have artistic value.

2:02 AM  
Blogger Seabhag said...

PB. the only rap/hip-hop I've ever heard seems to be full of violence against women, drug use/abuse, etc. Now, I admit that I haven't heard it all.. Just everything I "have" heard I've greatly disliked.


5:14 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Bill Gothard announced this morning that he will be going back to the live format for all Basic Seminars in an effort to raise attendence. Mr. Gothard said in addition to the live presentation, he would be doing it in a RAP style. "My message will not change. Though I will do RAP, I will not be accompained by any music with a backbeat. We will have a choir, instead, that will imitate string instruments."

12:36 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thanks for the clarification Seabhag. You are right that most rap is about drugs, violence and 'hos' but I prefer that to the 30 piece Chicago Mandolin choir (check out their latest album, "Wispering Peace") Rap usually sucks because it sounds so fake- I notice that most people that listen to it aren't rolling in money or pimping anything like the music suggests. Nah, Metallica and Linkin Park are where it's at. Anyhow...
Peace out

6:13 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

they banned Isaiah from --?! Whaaaaaa?! !!!!

1:40 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Rap has also been an important genre for political agendas and messages. Rappers often know what they're doing when they write lyrics. Lyrics aren't always redeeming of course, but just to say that with anything, digging deeper is a good thing.

9:40 AM  
Anonymous Kirstin said...

I heard the idea that this was somehow connected to Isaih and his 'afro' hair and then it looks like someone else was on the same trail. Can someone explain this to me?

7:42 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Who gives a crap about some dude's hair? The issue is not racism or even music. What I want to know is why the Chracter Inn did not seize the marijuana for "distributive" purposes. I mean, ATI always needs money so why not make a little on the side at the benefit of 50 cent?

7:38 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey seabhag we're going to have to send you home because you're listening to music on the unapproved list.....maybe you'll change your evil ways......

9:07 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I think that rap artists are amazingly talented. So you don't like that sound? Cool. But if you would really toss 50 out b/c you don't "like" rap, you are no better than these judgemental, hypocrital Gothardites. We live in America. And in 50's experience, ho's are real, and boys pimp those ho's. You must all still be living the sheltered lives you carried out in Indianapolis.

11:31 AM  
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11:26 AM  

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