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Saturday, April 09, 2005
Ask Miss Modesty
DEAR MISS MODESTY: I would like your advice on a distressing incident.
Last Sunday after evening service, I was playing the piano while waiting for my family to get ready to leave church. (My father meets with the pastor after every service to offer encouragement and suggestions to make him a more successful pastor.) A young man who has been attending for some time came over and asked me about the music I was playing, which was something I composed myself. We started talking, and before I knew it, he asked me out! Of course I told him to go to my father -- I'm only twenty-five.
As soon as my father came out of the pastor's study, this young man asked him! My father, you can imagine, was very taken aback, as this sort of question should be posed only over the phone or at breakfast together. He refused permission, and I am grateful to him for his protection; I have struggled since with disappointment and thoughts of this young man.
My parents sat down with me to discern what in my countenance and conversation would have attracted such a worldly young man's notice. Miss Modesty, I can't think of what I did wrong! All my life I've tried to be virtuous and modest. It is quite distressing to be sensual and not know in what way! Do you have any insights to share with me?
Despairingly,
Little Better Than a Harlot
DEAR HARLOT: Your parents are very wise to attempt to discern the root causes of this situation. However, I believe they have overlooked several key areas in which you certainly did do something wrong!
First of all, what first attracted this fellow's attention to you? You were violating the Lord's Day by playing music of your own composition instead of music dedicated to Him. Possibly your music even has worldly "Christian rock" influences which would attract the heart of a rebellious young man. Purpose from now on to play only God-honoring music on the Lord's Day -- such ancient hymns of the faith as "Sunshine in My Soul" and "Wonderful Grace of Jesus."
Secondly, how did you respond to this fellow when he spoke to you? Many young ladies fail present proper countenances to young men. As he spoke, were your eyes at half-mast, or open wide? Remember that eyes wide-open indicate an open heart, while eyes at half-mast tell your listener that your heart is not easily given away. It may be that you encouraged his worldy attentions by your lack of alertness.
And lastly, holding conversation with this young man without (apparently) any of your family present moved you out from under your father's umbrella and opened you up to attacks of Satan. That is why you feel disappointment and even attraction to a young man your father has not approved. I suggest that you go through the diagram to reclaim this ground, and do not remain outside your father's authority any longer.
I commend you for directing this fellow to your father. As your authority, your father knows what you're looking for in a husband. What a blessing for you to serve him as a daughter! May you be well-content in this God-given role for many years to come!
Sincerely,
Miss Modesty
-- Submitted by Mairzy
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23 Comments:
It would also behoove LBTAH to sever all soul ties that she might have developed while talking this young man. Even in the best of intentions to forget him, a lack of proper severence could lead to a lifetime of anger and bitterness.
I, speaking from personal experience, would also like to point out that it is very possible that LBTAH looked slightly sensuous while playing the piano. Many pianists, "unconciously" as it may be, move with the music in a very wordly manner. This is an indicator of the heart, the desire to be playing wordly music and possibly, the desire to DANCE.
I would very much encourage a week of prayer and fasting.
Scarry thing?? I can see/hear a LOT of ATI families that I know/knew saying this.. People need to relax..
haha! i have soooo seen this!
LOL! Half-mast eyes indeed! I can't believe I actually used to think that...=\
Non-godly music on a Sunday...Elsie Dinsmore could have warned her about the dangers of that.
Oh, yes. Elsie's brave refusal to play worldly songs on the Lord's day should be an encouragement to us all.
I must disagree with Porkchop. LBTAH should spend a week in prayer, but the root cause of this whole situation is her subconscious desire to be sensual. This is apparent from the fact that the guy took an interest in her. Clearly, LBTAH has been dieting and desires to have a shapely figure. LBTAH, you should immediately begin to eat more; by gaining oh, say 35 pounds, you will be assured that in the future no fellow will want to look your way. And by the way, LBTAH, with the additional weight your jumper will fit better.
To the first commenter:
Although you meant it for LBTAH's edification and encouragement, any woman of virtue would do well to spurn "spiritual" advice from someone who chooses to cast aside the name of his/her honored father and be called by a portion of unclean meat instead.
To the last commenter, I am grieved to read this evidence of bitterness and your failure to accept the metabolism that God grants each of us. I know LBTAH personally, and know that her family maintains the highest standards of diet. After all, as it says in the Follow-Up Course, the four areas of self-examination, for a clear conscience, are Thoughts, Words, Deeds, and Foods You Eat. Every meal that LBTAH eats is wholesome, nutritious, and Godly.
-- Miss Modesty
X-ATI Guy, you are my freaking hero. Keep this website up.
To LBTAH,
As a pianist myself, I have found myself subject to the very same situation under which you found yourself. Some things that I have noticed and solutions for the problem follow:
It is so easy to become caught up in the action of playing the piano, and become "lost" in the music (especially that of your own composition). This only opens the door to the influence of Satan and his demons. For, as soon as you give yourself over to your music you let down your guard, and the enemy is at freedom to steal, kill, and destroy. This spiritual warfare is very real, and I concur with Miss Modesty in that you must review the Stronghold Diagram to take back that ground given to the Enemy in these areas.
Second, regarding the piece of music that you say you composed. Many factors go into writing a piece of music, first and foremost of which are the influences of the music that you allow yourself to be exposed to. We know that “out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaketh.” (Matt. 12:34b) Music is a wholly another level of communication. So, how much more will it speak from the abundance of the heart? Moreover, the influence of what we listen to will effect our heart in the same magnified manner.
If, as you say, this music drew the attention of said worldly young man, I would advise you to go back and review the music you allow yourself to listen to in order to discern any root of worldliness in that music itself. Even the smallest hint of something influenced by the world can have negative effects on your soul. As an aspiring composer, you bear responsibility to other Christians to produce music that is pure and glorifying to God, and edifying to the saints.
I would personally recommend a fast from all music. During my three year fast from all music, I went to the extent to wear earplugs to the grocery store so as to block out the harmful back-beat so pervasively blasted from every speaker in the store. But it was all worth it. Recently, the wonderful sound of Character Building Classics has been a wonderful experience. And I have found that my senses are newly tuned to hear new insights into the composition of godly music. I would recommend something of this type of a fast for you.
Sincerely,
A Fellow Godly Musician
Diagram! Oh THAT diagram. As a thriving satanical music worshipper, I have found the diagram a useful tool in tuning my dastardly music to the precise patterns needed to accurately summon the foulest daemons from the seventh circle of hell.
AAAHAHAAHAHA! The world will soon be mine and all thanks to meek and mild Mr. G!
I can feel the evil all around me, even when I sleep, and I know that the 'character-building' music of IBLP has no power with withstand the might of my drums and guitars.
My advice to LBTAH is ROCK ON! You obviously are a BABE of the highest order - otherwise this hunk of man-flesh would never have even seen you worthy of conquest. Flee from the constraints of that so-called 'godliness' and revel in the joys of the flesh.
You are a woman and as such you have tremendous power! Will you let people use that power against you, or will you choose to let it free and conquer the world of men?
Choose wisely, I eagerly await the developments. Now, back to the pit for me as I devise more devious diatonic diatribes for the destruction of good!!!!!!!!!
Okay Semi.. That's enough sleep for you.. Or is that too much playing with fire? I always get the two confused.. :-P
Seabhag
Way to go Semirrahge! I totally agree with you.
Come on people! Get real!
It is perfectly normal for a young man to be attracted to a young, heathly woman. That he approached her in church and that he was willing to ask her dad for permission....well, in my opinion thats two pionts for the young man. He can't be the horrid worldly sinner you all paint him to be.
Why couldn't he have been attracted to LMTAH's modesty?
And are you suggesting that because the music LMTAH played was of her own composing, that it is a sin to play on Sunday?
Get real!
What I don't understand is this: if the guy is gonna be called into question because he is attracted to a young girl, would he be better off being attracted to a young guy?
Peace and grace to all of you! Although none of you seems to have a heart for Jesus, I felt it necessary to wade into the mire to protect my daughter's good name -- her "virtual virtue," you might say.
First of all, I would appreciate it if everyone would refrain from referring to my daughter as "LBTAH." It was a poor choice of signature, done without consulting either me or her mother, and AnnaJoy Grace has repented of her foolishness.
Secondly, I am shocked and grieved by what I read here. Not only the flippancy and bitterness so glaringly evident (thank you for your bold truth-speaking, Miss Modesty), but because of the obvious lack of wisdom among you regarding the proper implementation of universal principles.
In the eyes of man, the way this fellow approached my daughter seemed "okay." Satan often appears as an angel of light. How grateful I am that my daughter knew to rely on my wisdom rather than her own! It was obvious to us that he was not a young man of highest standards because he talked to her first. He should have known to come to me, without endangering my daughter's heart!
Then he accosted me with such a lack of discretion and right timing that I discerned his motivation as being lustful. After all, love can always wait to give, but lust can never wait to get.
I do not doubt that my daughter's meek and quiet spirit attracted this ravening wolf's attention, and her subsequent failure to uphold the highest standards of conduct only encouraged him. Take heed, young ladies! Trust in God's provision for you, and flee to your father when the world comes for you!
I have not allowed my daughter to read your scornful and scoffing remarks. We strive to keep her pure and holy, and she can receive nothing but harm from reading opinions so different from that of mine and her mother's.
I pray for your souls.
In Christ's love,
E. M.
LOL.. well.. knowing people that would say that I just say that it proves that my comment about girls is right....
"Girls are like Parking Spaces
All the good ones are taken or in a different lot. The only ones left are handycapped.. or WAY out there"
Seabhag
"Come on people! Get real!"
Umm . . . they were joking. As in following up on X-ATIer's excellent sarcasm.
But hasn't everyone ignored the *real* danger? In going to Miss Modesty, AnnaJoy Grace is going to someone other than her father for advice, thus supplanting his covering of authority over her!
"AnnaJoy Grace is going to someone other than her father for advice, thus supplanting his covering of authority over her!"
Finally! A young person speaking with wisdom, although, like Apollos, she needs to be instructed more carefully in the way.
AnnaJoy Grace had my full permission to write Miss Modesty, so was not moving out from under my umbrella. My wife did not think it was appropriate for me to write an unmarried woman myself, and felt that it was right to delegate the responsibility to AnnaJoy Grace herself. After much prayer, I discerned that her counsel was of the Lord.
Blessings on your life, Katherine, for exercising discernment. You should also develop discretion to know when to speak, and when you should remain silent and learn more. May you continue to build these quality in your life!
E.M.
Oh puh-leeeaasssee.
Dads like that are the reason girls get knocked up.
They are so sick and tired of being told what to think, when to think and how to think it.
I hope to high heaven that the last post was a joke or that is just sick, sick, sick.
Did I mention sick?
like... if her nylons were navy blue sheers, for example... Anything other than "skin color" would be wicked and evil...
First of all are you not an adult at 18? at which time your parents words are a suggestion not law. In other words if the guy was someone that showed the quality that she was looking for there is nothing wrong with being friends and taking it from there, if not then she should just say 'not interested
How did a young man, so evil, sneak into a church where ATI members worship? Couldn't they see at the door that he was in violation of several principles? I guarantee you his hairstyle was not suitable for his facial shape. I also highly doubt this was an isolated incident for this young man. We all know that unmarried 30 year old men cannot think for themselves and make foolish decisions, like talking to LBTAH.
The blame clearly lies with AnnaJoy Grace's father.No godly young champion for Christ would brazenly approach a man with out examining his own heart motives.If potential suitors are not thinking of you as Robert Duvall's character from Apocalypse Now than you then you are projecting spiritual weakness.
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