Saturday, April 09, 2005
Ask Miss Modesty
DEAR MISS MODESTY: I would like your advice on a distressing incident.
Last Sunday after evening service, I was playing the piano while waiting for my family to get ready to leave church. (My father meets with the pastor after every service to offer encouragement and suggestions to make him a more successful pastor.) A young man who has been attending for some time came over and asked me about the music I was playing, which was something I composed myself. We started talking, and before I knew it, he asked me out! Of course I told him to go to my father -- I'm only twenty-five.
As soon as my father came out of the pastor's study, this young man asked him! My father, you can imagine, was very taken aback, as this sort of question should be posed only over the phone or at breakfast together. He refused permission, and I am grateful to him for his protection; I have struggled since with disappointment and thoughts of this young man.
My parents sat down with me to discern what in my countenance and conversation would have attracted such a worldly young man's notice. Miss Modesty, I can't think of what I did wrong! All my life I've tried to be virtuous and modest. It is quite distressing to be sensual and not know in what way! Do you have any insights to share with me?
Little Better Than a Harlot
DEAR HARLOT: Your parents are very wise to attempt to discern the root causes of this situation. However, I believe they have overlooked several key areas in which you certainly did do something wrong!
First of all, what first attracted this fellow's attention to you? You were violating the Lord's Day by playing music of your own composition instead of music dedicated to Him. Possibly your music even has worldly "Christian rock" influences which would attract the heart of a rebellious young man. Purpose from now on to play only God-honoring music on the Lord's Day -- such ancient hymns of the faith as "Sunshine in My Soul" and "Wonderful Grace of Jesus."
Secondly, how did you respond to this fellow when he spoke to you? Many young ladies fail present proper countenances to young men. As he spoke, were your eyes at half-mast, or open wide? Remember that eyes wide-open indicate an open heart, while eyes at half-mast tell your listener that your heart is not easily given away. It may be that you encouraged his worldy attentions by your lack of alertness.
And lastly, holding conversation with this young man without (apparently) any of your family present moved you out from under your father's umbrella and opened you up to attacks of Satan. That is why you feel disappointment and even attraction to a young man your father has not approved. I suggest that you go through the diagram to reclaim this ground, and do not remain outside your father's authority any longer.
I commend you for directing this fellow to your father. As your authority, your father knows what you're looking for in a husband. What a blessing for you to serve him as a daughter! May you be well-content in this God-given role for many years to come!
-- Submitted by Mairzy