An Open Letter to IBLP Staff
Dear Dedicated Young Men and Women,
Foolish men will tell you that working 80 hour weeks for less than minimum wage is a waste of your time and talents. They fail to realize that at IBLP you are also compensated by marvelous food and rich fellowship. Singing The Smile Song in 16-part harmony while working in the dish pit will store up more rewards in heaven than a hefty checking account or phat bling.
Other men may make their fortunes selling worldly goods or hormone therapy; you--you are in the business of the soul. Selling character is a higher calling, and it calls for extreme dedication. You are to be commended for giving up worldly treasure, the comforts of home, and the freedom to develop a relationship with the opposite sex. IBLP continues to grow and expand because of your faithful commitment to avoid dangerous soul ties.
The compensation, of course, is the high level of trust your IBLP leaders invest in you, and their abiding faith that you always attempt to do what is right. Only in the "real" world (or the U.S.S.R.) would your employer attempt to inspire you to perform free work by using catchy slogans such as "Doing Mighty Deeds" or "Such a Time as This."
In IBLP, you do not suffer the indignity experienced in the normal workforce of working for individuals far less qualified than yourself to be in positions of leadership. No, though they be mere children, or though nepotism seems to run rampant, you can rest assured that God wills it.
Should you ever enter the World's workforce, you will do so as an ambassador of character. Your resume will contain pages of volunteer experience and you will understand the danger of ungodly cliques. But let me warn you: re-entry can be harsh. Without the Walkie of Power, many former IBLP staffers feel weak and impotent. Sinful men will not notice your bright smile, and ungodly employers may actually try to take advantage of your skills.
Fie upon those critics who insist on casting asperations upon your employer. How many other young men or women can say they work for a man who has sent out 2.5 million birthday cards?
As you perform the day-to-day tasks God gives you, you can trust him to bless you in ways you never imagined. While you're thinking about it, let's buy another training center.