X-ATI Guy

Cabbage Patch Sues Gothard

HINSDALE, Illinois - Citing "years of defamation and business interference," the manufacturer of Cabbage Patch Dolls has sued Bill Gothard for lowering the nation's opinion of the popular 1980's toy.

"The Institute of Basic Life Principles boasts an attendance of 2.6 million," said a Cabbage Patch spokesman. "We estimate that at least half of the IBLP alumni either burned their children's dolls, or failed to buy one when the rest of the country was in a frenzy over our product."

The manufacturer hopes to recover millions for lost business, as well as punitive damages "to teach folks a lesson about maligning innocent dolls." The company hopes to place a Cabbage Patch Doll in each ATI home in the coming years.

IBLP plans to fight this lawsuit with a strong defense by calling witnesses who can testify to the oppression that the Cabbage Patch Dolls brought into their home. "We are sure that a jury will agree with our defense," said an IBLP press release.

2 Comments:

Anonymous said...: you have got to be kidding about this one!!!! How darn funny!!; 11:18 PM
Richard said...: I always thought Cabbage Patch was grateful for the biz that BillyG sent their way. After every seminar parents went home and burned their kids' dolls. Two weeks of whining later, the kids got new dolls. I mean, my sister did. Not me. Not that I EVER wanted a Cabbage Patch doll.

R~; 4:43 PM

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