Monday, December 20, 2004
Spiritual Gift Misdiagnosis Ruins Life
AKRON, Ohio - Chad Banker recently found out that his entire life has been a sham. Banker, who grew up believing his spiritual gift to be Giver, recently learned that he had been misdiagnosed.
After attending his first Advanced Seminar the year he turned thirteen, Chad sought counsel from his pastor, Rev. Spillman of Fifth Third Baptist, regarding what his spiritual gift might be. "Everyone in my family had an opinion, but I felt that I should seek counsel from my spiritual leader to discern which gift I had been given." As all ATIers know, one's spiritual gift is very important for choosing an accountability partner, picking teams for Volleyball, making friends, and influencing people.
Rev. Spillman informed Chad that he received a Rhema from God regarding Chad's spiritual gift. "He was convinced that I am a giver. He told me that I should be a giver, not a taker. I completely trusted his decision." Chad spent the past ten years giving his time, money, and old clothes to all the deserving IBLP charities. He extended himself to the point where his piggy bank was completely emaciated and he was indentured to various ministries for the next 32 years of his life.
Chad's world came crashing down when, last week, he found out that it had all been a mistake. Chad's father had been increasingly burdened about his son, and after fasting and praying for an unspecified period of time, he received a word from the Lord which said that Chad's true spiritual gift is Prophet.
Chad received the news with gratitude, but is left with a sense of sadness over all the time he spent fulfilling the wrong spiritual gift. "I mean, I spent all this time giving and giving and giving, when I really should have been discerning right from wrong, and passing judgment on people."
To add insult to injury, the father of the young lady Chad has been courting for the past three years has expressed concern about the change in Chad's spiritual gift. "I am concerned. Chad and Heather had complementary spiritual gifts, but now that Chad is a prophet, it throws their entire relationship out of whack. We need to seek counsel from our family coordinator to determine whether the two of them can ever minister together, and how this change may affect the genetic imprint of their future children."
In a related story, Big Boi from the Grammy-winning band Outkast was disappointed to learn that he has no spiritual gift. Last month, Big Boi called the Institute Headquarters to purchase some literature on discerning spiritual gifts. Big Boi, who is famous for such songs as "Hey Ya" and "Where Are My Panties" was informed by a fifteen-year-old female phone operator that it is impossible for him to have a spiritual gift since no one who profits from the moral destruction of America is allowed salvation.
Despite the refusal, Big Boi ended the call politely, telling the young lady, "Stank you very much." Big Boi's agent says he is considering making an appeal directly to Mr. Gothard.
-Submitted by a guest poster