Friday, August 06, 2004
ATI Movie Makeovers: Titanic
We all enjoy entertainment, but we should never enjoy entertainment at the expense of our godly standards. ATI Movie Makeovers takes popular Hollywood blockbusters and infuses them with Biblical principles and character development.
Titanic, by X-ATI Guy
The Institute in Basic Life Principles purchases a huge cruise ship from Carnival Cruise Lines. IBLP was able to discover the unused ship and pay $1 for it. Mr. Gothard announces plans of renovating the ship and turning it into "the world's first International Training Center." Years of work and millions of dollars are expended to outfit the ship. The main hall is a spectacular room with plush red carpet, oak paneling, and period furniture. Each room on the character ship is outfitted with character posters, character soaps, and character towels.
On the commencement of the ship's ministry, the Institute holds a ceremony. Mr. Gothard christens the ship The Titanic, and declares: "God himself floats this boat!" Informally, the staff refer to the ship as the Floating Training Center (FTC).
The Titanic embarks on a year-long ministry trip to various costal IBLP locations. Dozens of people sign up to serve on staff, while others are chosen to serve as the "Character Crew," the elite and honored staff members who serve as examples for the rest of the staff to look up to.
While sailing across the Atlantic, Rose, one of the girls on the Character Crew, attracts a staff guy's attention. This young man, Jack, has been assigned to the FTC for "encouragement." He is encouraged by doing much of the mundane work required on the FTC: washing dishes, serving food, housekeeping, and swabbing the decks. Jack notices Rose and opens the door for her as she's going to lunch. As she exits after lunch, he once more opens the door.
These kind gestures endear Rose to Jack. Unwisely, they begin to spend time together and build Soul Ties. Rose lowers herself to visit the Dish Pit and the Housekeeping Room, where Jack impresses her with his vigorous work ethic. Rose manages to dress Jack up for dinner at the Head Table with the rest of the Character Crew. Other members of the Crew disdainfully toss observations of character deficiencies at Jack. He responds with a quick wit and his aplomb further encourages Rose.
Rose and Jack eventually breach a serious FTC rule and engage in Hand Holding with the Opposite Gender. At one point Jack says, "We shouldn't break this rule." "Oh, yes we should!" cried Rose. "Well, I can see your point," said Jack, and reached for her hand.
Sadly, the Titanic's navigator failed to exhibit the character quality of attentiveness, and they strike an iceberg. Most of the people die in the resulting shipwreck. Rose barely survives, but forever lives with the guilt of knowing that the ship sank because of her sin. Jack, of course, does not make it, as FTC policy dictates that young men must always get the short end.