Tuesday, August 03, 2004

Scandal Plagues IBLP
Reeling from an attack by dolls, IBLP is now embroiled in an internal scandal of major proportions.

It all started when Bill Gothard flipped on the radio while riding to a ministry location while in an Institute van. Expecting to hear music that would uplift his spirit, Mr. Gothard was shocked to discover that the radio was playing a local rock-n-roll station. A quick check of the radio preset buttons revealed that every preset was tuned into a rock station.

An order went out to the Headquarters transportation manager to check every Institute vehicle on the Headquarters location. The results of this investigation were terrible: virtually every radio preset was tuned to sensual music. Institute drivers had been surreptitiously listening to country western, rap, rock, and even contemporary Christian music.

The Institute soon discovered that this corruption was widespread. The situation was almost identical in Indianapolis, Dallas, Little Rock, Flint, and other Institute locations. IBLP leadership began seizing personal staff vehicles and was appalled to learn that staff members were in bondage to rock music.

Layoffs have started, and we don't see an end in sight.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

This is pretty much the most awesome blog possibly ever. Let's talk about marriage, because... Ok, wait, am I flirting?

My family was one of the first 50 families ( should I feel responsible for what has happened? ) but I was actually never IN ATI. Yes, I've been blessed. Crying out DOES have power.

However, I've been to enough IBLP's and known enough people to recognize every single stereotype. And I think I've been hit on by about 8 Marlan Brando's. [ So, last night, when I was watching THE PRINCESS DIARIES... while DRINKING CAFFIENE... I thought about you, "babe." ]

Bill Gothard actually sent my mom and dad an EAGLE when my older brother was born. A... ceramic eagle. I'm not going to ask. I think babies would be scared of eagles perching over their crib. But that's just me.

Stop by my site sometime.


5:47 PM  

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