Saturday, August 28, 2004

Knoxville, 2005
ATII has announced that, due to low attendance and abysmal ratings in 2004, the annual ATII conference will again be held in Knoxville starting in 2005. The decision to return the conference to Knoxville was made after thousands of families personally made appeals to Mr. Gothard. "It just wasn't the same without the University of Tennessee," said one ATI father. "You'd start to say 'are we going to Knoxville this year' and then you'd wonder where the heck it was going to be."

Knoxville 2005 will feature the exciting new slogan: Giving the World a Temporary Surge of Inspiration! The conference will feature several important sessions which are vital for a mature Christian to attend. Sessions include:
  • Help! My Children Aren't Perfect Little ATI Kids. A session for stressed mothers with less than wonderful families.
  • Let's be Honest; You're Really Not Doing Wisdom Searches. A session for fathers who struggle to be consistent leaders in their homes.
  • So You'd Like to Work for Free. A session to describe apprenticeship opportunities for young men and women who are dedicated to serving the Lord. Young people will be encouraged to fast through this session to demonstrate their fervor.
  • How To Lose Friends and Leave Your Church. An exciting new session designed specifically for new ATI families.
  • Responding to ATI Critics. A session to give you the best answers to standard criticisms of ATI.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

This ATI father and his family must be new to ATI, otherwise he would not be using that forbidden phrase, "heck", which we all know is a substitute for "a really hot place". Any time spent at a training center, which this father obviously has not, will teach you to substitute "pain in the neck" for "pain in the butt" (or worse) as well as "where in the world" for "where the heck". - Haras

11:35 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

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11:35 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

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11:38 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This, and the comment about "really hot place," has gotten my day off to a good start, with lots of laughter. (GRIN)

7:12 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

That is just too funny........ :)

7:23 AM  

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