Tuesday, December 21, 2004

Ask X-ATI Guy
DEAR X-ATI GUY: One year, two weeks before Knoxville, my family contracted a severe case of head lice. Due to the extremely bad case my parents were forced to cut my hair to a boyish length. Being a girl, that was frowned on during our time in Knoxville.

It all came to a head, no pun intended, when I attempted to visit the 'little nuns room' and was given the boot by other lady ATI conference attendees. The ladies in the restroom asked me to leave and refused to believe that I was, in fact, a girl. (I was wearing the blue and white uniform of ATI which included a skirt.)

I headed towards the mens room as I was approaching desperation at that point, but realized that I would get no where at that location as well.

My question to you, X-ATI Guy, is whats a girl to do in that situation? Is there a proper, non-defrauding protocol that one should follow under those circumstances? Any input would be most welcome.

-Princess Leia

DEAR PRINCESS LEIA: All dramatic testimonies follow a four-part format: 1) the problem, 2) how you tried to solve it in your own strength, 3) how you cried out to God, and 4) His supernatural solution.

Your problem, of course, was deeper than a momentary need; your problem was a result of your failure to appeal to your authorities in this situation. Rather than relying on your own human wisdom, you should have asked your father for his protection and guidance.

The ladies in the restroom no doubt saw past your close-cropped hair and sensed a spirit of rebellion. These stern women of rigid character did well to prevent you from fraternizing with other impressionable young ladies.

Please be assured, however, that your best interests were served when you refrained from entering the men's room. The humiliation of patronizing the 20-foot-long horse troughs was more than my tender, non-reprobate spirit could bear at the time.



Anonymous Anonymous said...

Welllll... I continue to marvel at your creativity! I am grieved, however, at how you are using your gifts and talents. You know, many here on the staff have influenced world leaders and nations through creativity under authority.

I was super-encouraged to see that you could accurately recall the 4 points of a good testimony. Most of my overhead operators can't remember them... or the 7 basic principles... if quized on the subjects. You have been trained well and despite your words on this website, you will yet return to the light. ["Laura, what the heck is a blog?"]

And, for future reference, that young lady should have requested some of those blue pads from the Nursing Mothers room. Then she would have been able to enjoy the entire conference without even having to leave her seat. We have too much socializing going on between breaks at those conferences and they're missing "the most important subject yet!"

7:59 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Tisk. Tisk. Short haired sinner. Dont you know? Long hair = available restrooms. Keep under advisement.

12:35 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

we know from IBLP materials that one ought not try to change the "unchangeables." However, IBLP would make an exception in this case. They would have permitted her to wear a wig or false "hair extensions" in order to smooth the way for her to use the restrooms. And if Mr. Gothard can dye his hair, then surely this too would have been allowed. ... The hair extensions would have been OK because, as IBLP puts it, "Anything that would detract from your testimony" should be fixed if it can be fixed - like chipped teeth, etc. And we all know that short hair on a girl is a bad testimony. :)

3:32 PM  

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