Saturday, February 05, 2005
National Character Cop
WASHINGTON, D.C. - Secretary of the Spiritual Interior Bill Gothard hailed a new study that discovered risky sex habits lead to death and disability.
"If people would harness their sexual drives, their creative energy would increase," said Secretary Gothard. "We could stop spending taxpayers' money to subsidize the National Endowment for the Arts."
Secretary Gothard also pointed out the absurdity of modern science. "God's Word has warned against the dangers of illicit sex for thousands of years. Rather than relying upon humanistic principles, scientists should attend my Basic Seminar to discover how Scripture offers precise truths about science."