Tuesday, July 05, 2005

Why not just use eBay?
More valuable than the Virgin Mary on a grilled cheese sandwich: Mr. Gothard's car.

There appears to be some rust damage at the bottom of the driver-side door, but otherwise in good condition. Send your bids (but please no critical comments) to Ken Pierpont.

UPDATE: Ken Pierpont does not appreciate the free advertising we've provided, and blocked the picture of the Gothard Mobile. We anticipated this and uploaded a copy.

37 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

This cannot be serious. Please tell me this is a joke. WHO GIVES A RAT'S ASS?

9:53 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I told you Ken Pierpont was sucking up to Gothard; he wants to be Mr. G's successor.

5:11 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I love it "I have the honor of selling this car". Like someone is going to give him 30 grand for the POS and put it in their Gothard museum. I bet he gave Bill $50 for it and is trying to flip it for some nice coin in his own pocket. I'm going to email him and tell him to pay me to take it since I'm sure I paid for it with all the "free" labor I put in at the TC. Put it out in front of the Indy or OKC TC and you'll have it sold within 5 minutes. I can just see some gold 20s on it, suspension lowered with some knarley hydrolics, windows tinted and the trunk lid bumpin' with a 1000watts.... Get your Ghetto-sled on!!

2:40 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

What the hell kinda car is that? Is it a Gothardmoblie? Does Bill put on a cape and cowl and drive around at night fighting evil doers?

5:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

i wonder how much they'll get out of it... i bet it will be somewhat above what it is worth... i won't say "30 grand" but I would say... it is probably worth about, oh, less than $500 if it had belonged to someone else.... and they'll probably sell it for at least $1000 or $2000 or so... just a guess---- I wonder who will buy it

5:57 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

yeah... "I have the honor of selling this car." :) *chuckle*

5:57 AM  
Anonymous Kaiser Bill said...

I bet you guys could buy it and turn a profit yourselves by charging $5 a whack with a sledge.
(not that that would be very Christian...)
Another funny thing... the image on the site was named gothardmobile.jpg

Quick! To the Gothard cave! There's freedom lurking about!

7:42 AM  
Blogger Seabhag said...

Actually Bill, wouldn't that be something along the lines of

"Quick **Insert name of Bill's current main helper** to the Northwoods!! There's freedom lurking about"

:-)

Seabhag

1:36 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

talk about holy rolling.

now at least we all know what our cars should look like - please, tell us the make and model so we can drive under God's protection.

3:41 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

So did Ken decide to get funny and have the image changed over. THOU SHALT NOT BORROW... gee Ken I'm feeling covicted real convicted.

Well if you dont want to host it I will...

8:50 AM  
Blogger Drschplatt said...

I like the whole idea of the sledge hammer thing. Let's take up a collection and buy it. Then we can have a party and post pictures!

When I was at HQ I actually kind of "had" to ride in that thing once. I wouldn't call it a nice car...no sir.

8:53 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The new graphic reminds me of the Sunday night staff meeting speech on how borrowing breaks all ten commandments. It was the first time I saw staff fathers stand up to disagree publically with Mr. Gothard at headquarters. I see the idea has moved on to the web.

1:35 PM  
Anonymous Mairzy said...

Well, maybe KenP. reclaimed his graphic, but I rather suspect it's Xer having fun with his own post. -- Mairzy

5:20 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

no joke by x-er here. take a look at the link behind the pic...definitely KenP hijacking his own pic...but why?

oh, wait a minute...he needs the traffic to come to HIS site looking at the pic to give him more publicity and give him a better shot at the 'presidency'...hmmmm...

4:26 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I wonder if you have to go through a rigorous application process or somehow make an appeal to actually be considered as a "Worthy Buyer" for this car. I'm sure they wouldn't want just anyone owning it!

6:10 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

That's funny, the title of the picture isn't "Gothardmobile" anymore. It's "MrGothardsCar."

11:07 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

If you want to buy Mr. Gothard's vehicle, you must first submit your home [& garage] to an inspection by an ATI representative.

4:41 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Not only submit your home & all that for an ATI inspection, but fill out a form stating that you will allow no ungodly music in the vehicle. No sheet music to anything but Psalms, Hymns & Spiritual Songs (according to ATI definitions, of course!) and no CD's or tapes save for Hymns Triumphant, Bach, or Beethoven. No humming even, of anything that might be offensive, and you must sign an affadavit saying that you will not expose the vehicle to anything unChristlike.

5:43 AM  
Blogger Walt said...

For re-linking purposes.

I've never heard "Thou shalt not borrow." before... How strange.

10:15 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Must one also agree to always covering up the parked Gothardmobile windshields with protectors to reduce the chance of it being defrauded by passing Ferraris?

10:28 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

One must also agree to NEVER EVER under ANY circumstances get jiggy in the back seat. If the buyer is legally married and the marriage has been approved by the seller, the said seller *might* allow light hand holding.

4:53 AM  
Blogger Lisalia said...

I think we would all pay to get jiggy in the back seat of that car!

8:00 AM  
Anonymous Nels Jensen said...

He is just selling this car as a service for an aging man. A favour. I don't understand why you must continue to mock them. And buying the car to bash it up? Wow. Way to walk in the Spirit guys.

8:22 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

What is the make, model and year of this thing? You know, if you did buy the car and fix it up, you could probably sell it for a small profit. Does anyone know if it is leaking oil, and mileage?

11:47 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

A friend -- who is with ATI overseas -- let me in on this dirty little secret. I, too, am an x-er recovering from over ten years in ATI. At the end of my rope I decided that I was not going to be a Christian anymore, mostly as a result of experiences in the Institute. Since then I've had a three-year journey to becoming Eastern Orthodox, which is another story in itself.

P.S. You need to add "blessed" and "Praise the Lord" to your list of censored words. If I had a penny for everytime some girl said she was "so blessed" in that sappy, sing-song ATI tone of voice, I'd be a rich woman right now.

4:40 PM  
Anonymous Shian said...

Ya forgot the no ungodly drumming of your fingers on steering wheel while stuck in traffic...and the part where you have to amputate your left middle finger... just to rid yourself of any temptation.

Actually, that's great that someone will try to take up the great task of selling that car. It's a good goal to try to achieve.

6:44 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

ummmm...why's he selling it anyway?!? i mean, wasn't he given all his cars? have we stumbled upon some sort of embezzlement here? i mean, i doubt he was planning on passing the money from the sale of the car (plus interest) back to his original benefactor. isn't that some sort of stealing for him to be profiting at the expense of a christian brother/sister?

10:26 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The car was in poor shape last time I drove it. I understand he got another just like it. It's an Olds Eighty-Eight but I don't know the year. Has a 440 cubic inch engine that would make some horsepower if it were tuned right. No telling if the oil's been changed regularly, though. Mrs. Heiniger and others do most of the regular maintenance and everyday things for Mr. G, so he probably never thinks about taking care of it. I drove it once to a car wash. Leaked like a sieve and we had to hold up towels to the windows. (Remember that, guys? lol!)

1:58 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I got to ride in that Blue Bomb once. I remember sitting in the passenger seat of the car taking a photo. I wanted to get a candid shot of him driving. Instead, he turned and posed with his most famous "godly" smile while the red eye strob flashed. I thought we were going to get in a wreck, because he wasn't watching the road for about 10 seconds.

Ah, the memories....

11:15 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"Who gives a rat's ass?" I do! I have all these rats that live in my attic. Maybe Ken will take two or ten rat's asses for the car.

It's probably not worth much more.

11:19 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I will not be OUTBID!!! I'll give you, ken P., 15 rat ASSES for the car. That's my last offer..

7:05 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

So, um...was he serious about selling the car or not? I sent an email a week ago that has yet remained unanswered. Perhaps I simply was not good enough to be considered for purchase of the car...or maybe since I didn't propose an amount I was willing to spend, I was thus deemed unworthy...I don't know...it blows my mind.

Has anyone else inquired about the make, model, mileage and all that good stuff? Care to share with the rest of us?

5:30 PM  
Anonymous Ken Pierpont said...

Each inquiry is prayed over to sense the source of the email. By acutely-tuned discernment, we are able to avoid answering you mockers and scorners and thus time (our most precious commodity!). If you're really serious about buying the car, please use all caps in the subject line of your email and say something like, "YO, YO! HOW MANY CLAMS FO' DA' G'MOBILE, DAWG?!" I have some bling 22s you might also be interested in. Last time I cruised Flint, I was flashed 7 different gang signs between the TC and the Christian bookstore.

7:06 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Pimpin'.
Seriously, that was the first thing that popped to mind when I saw the car.

12:01 PM  
Anonymous Stephie said...

This is Xzibit--Pimp Master of Ceremonies-- From Pimp my Ride, me and the guys will be pulling drivers off the road who are guilty of committing heinous vehicular style crimes and giving their wheels the ultimate pimp-over. this is the worst we've come by yett, Ken my man, if your interested we have an automatic place for you, just visit our web site and PIMP out our friend ol' Billy-G with the stuff he needs..... http://www.mtv.com/onair/pimp_my_ride/game/play/

2:12 AM  
Blogger Richard said...

But I LIKE grilled cheese sandwiches. A lot. Especially if they have pictures of virgins on them.

Rich
The High Post

3:50 PM  
Blogger Richard said...

After reading through some Pierpont webdrool I came across this gem:

"I’m easy to fool. I have been a pastor all my adult life . . ." Its a pity that those two phrases go together so easily - and not just in this specific instance.

Rich
The High Post

3:55 PM  

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