Wednesday, August 10, 2005

Character Week
The Institute of Basic Life Principles recently announced that, having discovered that the days of the week are named after pagan gods, it plans to re-name each day for a character quality.

"We were shocked to realize Christians have been using a worldly system of days," said an Institute staffer. "For example, Thursday was named for Thor, the Norse God of Thunder!"

"God has called mature Christians to live above the standards of the world," said Bill Gothard.

The Institute will also recall all previously-sold IBLP Character Calendars and will issue new calendars with Institute-approved days of the week, for a small fee.

X-ATI Guy obtained a draft proposal of the new days of the week, listed below.

Sunday Self-Control Day
Monday Meekness Day
Tuesday Thoroughness Day
Wednesday Wisdom Day
Thursday Thriftiness Day
Friday Flexibility Day
Saturday Sincerity Day


Anonymous Anonymous said...

I am all for flexibility day.

10:35 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Didn't you miss hipocrisy day?

7:05 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Since July is named after Julius Caesar, perhaps it should be renamed after Bill...maybe call it, maybe call it...I’ve got it, I've got it the month of Billy.

8:52 AM  
Anonymous KayaLiz said...

Ummm, hello -- 7 days, 7 principles. It's divinely ordained to be! Day of Design, Day of Responsibility, Day of Authority, blah blah blah.

You can begin the week with "D-Day", for short.

What a way to start the week! I think it might actually be worse than 'Monday'. :-)

9:03 AM  
Blogger Drschplatt said...

I was thinking that before they renamed the days of the week they should stop expecting their workers to put in time on Sundays.

12:29 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

yeah like at Indy - fasting during the first two meals of Sunday _and yet_ working during part of the day (Sunday). How could we complain - after all, as you surely recall, every one of us got two dollars more PER HOUR when we worked on Sunday! NOT!!!! :) --- For Messianic-Jewish persons, there is, of course, no opportunity to "keep Shabbat" on Friday night & Saturday..... In the list: "Thoroughness Day" goes better for Thursday (Thor's Day) because the first four letter are THOR. --- Yes, the seven principles go well w/ 7 days of the week-- Just as the universal seven principles are non-optional, we do not have the option to skip any of the days of the week. Maybe Friday should be the day of "Freedom," (because we need to focus on True Freedom!)and Saturday or Sunday should be the day of "Success," (because we get a chance to meditate on Scripture on those days)....

1:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Let me change the subject for a moment. I just had a thought: If ALERT men are so patriotic, then why don't they join the Marine Corps?

6:15 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I dunno 'bout ya'll but Im 0 for 7.
Supposed I should get saved.
I own the movie.
Does that count?

7:05 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You forgot 'Adjust Your Halo Day.'
I would suggest WD-40 if it's squeaking a bit....

8:51 PM  
Anonymous VeganHunter said...

Like Anonymous #3 says, Billymonth is a good idea. Get it sponsored by this German product, who might be happy to have a new face for their marketing:

9:50 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Wait a minute. Are there not 49 character qualities? So should there not be 49 days in each month also? Hold it...I'm wrong; there are 31 chapters in the book of Proverbs, therefore we should have 31 days in each month. Ok, now I've got it straight - 31 days in each month and 49 months in each year.

5:24 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This has got to be the most hilarious website I have ever been to. I was in ATI for 13 years and have never laughed so hard in my entire life!!

8:24 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

How about we make today "I Just Realized That I Am About Ten Years Too Old To STILL Be Whining About ATI Day?"

12:23 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"Whining?" What you call "whining" is actually an incredibly important part of the spiritual discourse on this website. We are actually trying to bring our fellow Christians to a fuller knowledge of a relationship with God, rather than rules, rules, rules, etc. I know it LOOKS like all we do is play subculture 'gotcha' and cry hot, snotty tears through clever smirks, but it is ALL a clever disguise and we are really, REALLY hoping that our fellow Christians will see the error of their ways as we cycle through endless rounds of acting out grievances left over from the 1994 Knoxville session.

12:43 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I totally agree with the last poster there. There are really a lot of people out there who are making the grave spiritual error of centering their lives around PROMOTING what Gothard teaches. We, on the other hand, are giving the excellent example of centering our lives around WHINING about Gothard. I know we all join in praying that one day, those in ATI will sincerely see how hypocritical their stance is, and come to the full knowledge of the truth, even as we have seen it...

12:51 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Amen to that. What Mr. "Ten Years Too Old" doesn't understand is the way ATI scars people through their judgmental attitudes and the hyper-critical way they treat their fellow Christians. This website allows us to gently point out, every day, in minute detail and with good humored sarcasm, all the ways that ATIers have been hyper-critical and judgmental.

If this seems rambling or confusing, it is ATI's fault.

1:03 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You're absolutely right about "Mr. Ten Years". I know that some would argue that Gothard is still running our lives even more than when we were living in the training centers, but that is merely because all the evidence points to it.

We actually don't care about Gothard at all, nor are we the b-word (bitter), nor are we engaging in oh-so-campy rebellion now that we are no longer living at home and can drink real beer WHENEVER we want.

We are actually just trying to help people still trapped in the system.

1:16 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

are you kidding? the 1994 knoxville conference was the worst and i blame it for everything in my life. i cannot get a job and i spend all my time reeding this site and prayzing mr xati guy for his hilarius wit. gothard ruined my life and i would be a brain surgun if it wern't for him. at least my spiritual walk is good now. thank you mr. xati guy!!!!

1:25 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

you're unemployed me too! xati guy is kind of like my family now and i spend all day hanging around on this site making shure i am the first to post on his every hilarius article. i usually am unless my mom makes me get off the computer so she can make a phone call. i wish i knew who mr. xati guy was because he is my heroe.

1:40 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

oh if you're mom is giving you trouble you can go to the librery they have free internet axcess. that is where i do most of my xatiguy reading and blogging. of coarse you have to sit next to fragrant vagrants looking at porno and nothing is worse than that but it is worth it to read xati archives all day.

1:51 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

yea i used to do that but my mom took away my library card. living at home sucks, but xati guy makes every day special.

its so weird how much we all have in common - unemployd, live at home, excellent grammer, and xatiguy fans!!! Plus we are always hopeing that other people in ATI will leave. it would be interesting to know what other common traits we share...

2:03 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


2:12 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

well, obviously evanesance goes without saying. their tuneful songs go right to the heart of where i am at right now!! my parents don't approve of them but that just makes me love them more - just like xati guy.

i know that when i have kids, i will teach them to make choices the way xati guy does, based on good taste alone, and not just because it irritated someone else and made me feel like a real 'bad boy'.

2:22 AM  
Blogger JD said...

oops, a multi-rant. I'm thinking about being impressed. Wait... I think it is coming. Nope. Sorry. Not impressed. Feel free to try again though.

8:08 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Since you asked, JD...

Mad style with the insults there. But you must understand that a good put-down is all about the contextual cues. Illustration:

While the last five sentences you used on me probably hurt you a lot when you heard them from your girlfriend, they really don't bother me that much coming from you.

See? Context. I'll give you a redo, but the BEST you can get - the very best! - is a "B".

6:18 PM  

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