CharacterLink Spam Filter Shuts Off
CharacterLink spam filters malfunctioned today, temporarily allowing a flood of unsolicited email in to ATI homes. Families who chose CharacterLink for the protection it offered from the world received emails about blue jeans, mortgages, high-interest credit cards, free movie tickets, dating services, and many other reprobate products.
"We were so shocked by the worldliness," said one mother whose son accidentally opened an email with the subject line of "f:o,rtui:tOus_r:e:l@$ion$:hips." The email turned out to be an invitation to join a business partnership.
Families frantically began calling CharacterLink offices with reports of shocking emails. CharacterLink staff spent most of the afternoon absolving guilt-ridden ATI students, assuring them that no sin is committed by accidentally opening spam.
IBLP technicians worked through the night to correct the malfunction. "We're not sure what happened," said one weary fellow. "It could have been demonic influence."