Tuesday, September 14, 2004
Training In Worldly Activities
Training In Worldly Activities offers tips and advice on how to enjoy grace responsibly and without excess.
For all of you feeble current and ex-ATI guys who have not yet figured out the fine art of flirting, we offer:
HOW TO GET A GIRL Before you begin the task of catching a girl, you have to undo some serious brainwashing you received in ATI. Many maxims have been pounded into your head regarding relationships. We call these ATI Relationship Strongholds.
First, you have heard the verse in I Corinthians 7 which says, "He that is unmarried careth for the things that belong to the Lord, how he may please the Lord: But he that is married careth for the things that are of the world, how he may please his wife." The impeccable logic of IBLP states: Pleasing God is good. Caring for the things of the world is bad. Therefore, we should not get married or even entertain the option of a relationship.
You must counteract this devastating logic with the following quote: "It is better to marry than to burn." As 95% of all young men burn (and the other 5% are liars), chances are you have God's permission to pursue a relationship for the purpose of matrimony.
Another ATI Stronghold you must tear down is: "You shouldn't get married until you are ready to have children because that is the purpose of marriage." This stronghold effectively prevents most young men from entering relationships. As much as they love children, they'd prefer to spend a little time alone with their bride. We would like to point out that this stronghold is inconsistent with Scripture. Many women listed in the Bible were unable to have children, which would have made their marriages entirely useless if you believe this Stronghold. Furthermore, while God commanded Adam and Eve to be fruitful and multiply, the words "immediately" and "right now" do not appear in this verse (neither in English nor in the original Hebrew).
Finally, the idea that you will be "more effective for Christ single than married" should be disposed of. This is a subjective question that must be resolved with each individual person. While some people may be more effective for Christ as single persons, it is a short, elite list. Don't miss out on relationship opportunities wondering if you're on this list. And by all means avoid The Castrati.
These Strongholds aside, here is how a guy can get a girl.
1. Fall asleep in Christ. (No, we're just kidding. Gotcha!)
2. Know what you want in life. Women are extremely attracted to men who have a vision for their life. If you have career plans, life goals, and a strong sense of direction, you will draw women to you with gravitational force. We are not advocating abuse of this technique; we're simply pointing out it is a reality. Furthermore, a sense of direction within your relationship is good as well. Girls shouldn't have to ask "where is this going?" You want them to say, "Wow, here we go!"
3. Don't be afraid to look her in the eye. ATI guys have a problem with this. At best, they will stand sideways to a girl and cast quick glances toward the girl while talking to her. No, no, no. Stand facing her directly, and look her in the eye. Let HER look away from you. This tells women you possess immense confidence. Just be careful not to make her uncomfortable; there's a difference between eye contact and staring.
4. Talk to her. You cannot get a girl without talking to her. And no, saying "hi" when you pass each other in the training center lobby does not count. You must be prepared to ask her questions, listen to her answers, draw out her opinions, and then remember what she's told you. Conversation is the key here. Too many ATI guys talk non-stop around women, betraying their nervousness. Give her a chance to express herself.
5. Be decisive. Some guys think it is sexy to always defer to the girl's preference. But when the girl tells you she doesn't care where you go out to eat, be a man and make a suggestion. Here's how not to do it:
6. Make her laugh. This also requires that you have insight into the girl. Discover her sense of humor and make her laugh. Do NOT break out the old "How do you know when you're dating an ATI girl" jokes. Instead, try to discover what things amuse her. What funny memories or experiences do you share? Who do you mutually despise that you can slyly make fun of? Use subtle wit and irony rather than knock-knock jokes.
Guy: What sounds good to you tonight?
Girl: Oh, I don't care, I'd be happy with anything. [She's thinking: "Didn't you plan anything?"]
Guy: Well, I like anything, so wherever you want to go, that's fine with me.
Girl: Oh, I don't care. Whatever you pick is good with me. ["It's going to be a long night."]
Guy: Well, there's this Mexican place. Of course, if you don't like that we can go to Chili's. If you don't like that we can do Outback. If you don't like that.....
Girl: Sighs and smooths her skirt. ["Sorry, bozo, I'll never bear your children."]
7. Don't hesitate. If you've discovered the girl and you love her, buy the diamond, talk to the necessary parents, and get down on one knee. Don't settle for long, drawn out courtships.
Our research indicates women are generally disappointed with ATI guys. We believe you can overcome this stigma by following the seven steps listed above.