IBLP Declares a "Woman Fast"
Motivated by I Corinthians 7, the Dean of Men at IBLP headquarters has declared a mandatory, 40-day "woman fast" for all male staff members of IBLP. Interested to learn more, X-ATI Guy sent his best non-female investigative reporter to check out the situation.
Rumor has it that the woman-fast decree was issued when the Dean of Men heard several reports that all staff girls did in their free time was talk about staff men. Being an intuitive Dean with a nose for corruption and potentially defrauding situations, the Dean surmised that staff men were engaged in similarly unproductive conversations about the opposite sex.
The Dean took decisive action and forbid all males to talk to, look at, touch, or in any other way make contact with female staff members. Reports indicate that the Dean is pushing for this policy to be made permanent.
X-er asked several young men how they felt about this situation. "It's not like much has changed," said one staffer named Brett. "I got reamed out for smiling sympathetically at a girl after her grandmother died. I was accused of trying to build soul ties with a vulnerable woman."
"I don't have to change my behavior at all," agreed another young man named Tim. "If you want to work for IBLP and not get paid, you'd best leave the women alone."
One young man we talked to was upbeat about the situation. "I'm going to turn my physical desires into creative energy. I'm grateful to the leadership for the opportunity to focus on the Lord."