Tuesday, August 30, 2005

ALERT men wimp out
SOMEWHERE, Texas - Homeschoolers often note the ubiquitous presence of ALERT men at homeschool conferences, particularly in the vicinity of attractive young women.

During a recent homeschool conference in Somewhere, Texas, however, parents were grieved to witness a shocking display of cowardice. On the second day of the convention, a number of protesters broke past security and began demonstrating in the exhibit hall. The protestors accosted attendees and generally acted in a rude and threatening manner.

A homeschool mother, recalling that ALERT training develops the discipline, character, and skills necessary to prepare men to meet the needs of people in crisis, decided to call upon ALERT men for help. Repeated calls on the walkie-talkie, however, were never responded to by the ALERT men.

"Just think of it," said the homeschool mother. "When the protestors were insulting the virtue of our daughters and attacking our homeschool values, the ALERT para-military boys were hiding!"

This mother and several others had no choice but to act as a human shield to bar the protestors admission to the conference. After engaging in a Red-Rover-type struggle for half an hour, the homeschool mothers finally threw back the protestors.

Soon afterward several ALERT men appeared on the scene, only to be scolded and berated by several irate conference attendees. "The actors in Mel Gibson's movie The Patriot are better trained than you!" said one mother.

ALERT men were seen beating a hasty retreat.

26 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm sure they were in some back room fasting over the situation...right?

6:53 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

They had to wait for their God-in-chief Gothard to give the order to attack

6:56 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

None of you guys know what you're talking about. I was an ALERT guy and I guarantee that they were in back making out with some of the less virtuous daughters.

7:41 AM  
Blogger Lisalia said...

How come I never got to meet the guys like that?

12:10 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The one guy I knew who was in ALERT got a girl pregnant out of wedlock.

She refused to marry him.

1:14 PM  
Blogger J said...

Hey X-Ati guy, I think this one crossed the line as far as sarcasm or insults go. Most of your posts make fun of nonsense that gets taught or of hypocrisy or of wrong dogmatism.

This one, though, was mean, spiteful, insulting, and a personal attack on those who did ALERT. It may be a worthless or hypocritic program, but calling them all cowards is hateful and certainly not a Christian thing to do.

1:56 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Jesse, darlin', every regular reader at this site is more bitter than a 41 year-old feminist doctoral candidate at a wedding fair. They show up JUST to tell stories of how their married friends ended up divorced and in the gutter. It's their way of "helping."

Your error was in assuming that something profitable was being done here.

7:47 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I chuckled at the image of your fuming feminist, though your causticity seems to be better reflected by the image you created than the bitterness of those you have selected as your target. For my own part I don’t have much bitterness from my time in ATII. I even enjoyed having my office next to Bill’s for a little while. It was very entertaining. This site is like one big inside joke that provides some smiles and laughter I can share with few others. None of my current friends would understand any of this.

As far as ALERT - I was in the living room of Colonial West when Pastor Fraley told us that the idea for ALERT had been floated after Ron saw a special on SEAL training. I had many good friends in ALERT. It is obvious that it didn’t live up to Bill’s expectations (has any of his programs?), but my friends in the first units seemed to really benefit.

There have been (and are) churches and families damaged by meticulous adherence to the “principles” that Bill taught, but they made the decision to follow their understanding of Bill’s teachings more than the Word of God. Bill is little more than a vocal guy who is always experimenting with ideas of faith and obedience. ALERT was simply one of those experiments that had some good ideas, but was overrun with ideology that couldn’t be sustained in the doing. There are some real people in ALERT that do what real people do. If this story were real (and it is sadly believable) those guys were probably busy painting some old lady’s house with high gloss red latex paint and were too far away to do any good until too late. That or the radio message was considered a prank pulled by one of those kids who hacked into the signal used by the conference two-way radios.

The best part of the post was the idea that anyone cared enough about “The Institute” that they staged a protest.

8:57 PM  
Blogger J said...

Sorry, anonymous (the one who replied to me) but I'd probably have to disagree, at least in part. Most of the posts and comments seem to be poking fun and ridiculing things that really are ridiculous. I agree that there are people who are very bitter about the damage that they received from IBLP and ATI, and THAT'S FINE! Anyone who suffers from another has the right to feel bitter! It's not a good thing, (I'm pretty sure God isn't fond of it) but you don't expect someone to suddenly drop bitterness and resentment at what was done to them the moment they finally leave the building, and never speak of it again.

It was just XATIGuy that I think should have tempered this rip at ALERT into something that wasn't attacking the members of ALERT so personally. Rip into the program, the ideas, the hypocrisy, or whatever else, but aiming it at people directly is wrong.

9:43 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

They seem to be doing SOMETHING good. http://alertacademy.com/service/deploy/disaster/dennis.php

10:05 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

#10 key word seems

6:29 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I agree with Jesse on this one. It's more ridicule than satire. Other posts have been helpful in pointing out error. This one just sneers.

9:30 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

If ALERT guys really want to "achieve maturity and fruitfulness in service as Christian men" as the web site says, then let'em join the Marine Corps, or the Navy SEALS. Sure beats painting some lady's house.

10:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I never did understand the purpose of ALERT. I mean, helping people is great, discipline is a necessary part of adult life, but how does the ALERT program prepare you to be a provider for your family? The help they provide is volunteer, not paid. How is that being a fruitful, mature Christian man?

10:39 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I was a part of ALERT-Unit 5.

...and the post made me laugh.

Back in the day ALERT was kind of the ATI rebels-alot of us were "sent away" to boot camp because our parents didn't really know what to do with us. I'm not sure what it's like now.

In defense of ALERT, it did teach some valuable stuff. E.g., I took the paramedic class there and worked as a paramedic for a few years after leaving. It taught me some stuff about endurance and about myself. And I've done alright-after ALERT I got a bachelor's degree, nearly completed a master's degree, and am currently attending medical school (the cause of my incomplete M.S.).

Anyway, ALERT (at least then) was vastly different than the typical ATI-er. Just thought I'd set the record straight.

BTW lisalia-you probably wouldn't have had to look to hard to run into the kind of guys you were looking for. There were definitely quite a few of them (and being holed up with a 98% male population for months at a time doesn't help). :)

8:08 PM  
Blogger Allin said...

To be honest, I can relate with the post some what. Being a Later ALERT guy, Unit 14 (Not old school but still up in the northwoods) I can relate. I will say this post is in keeping with this site. What you must understand is the what the last post said. When you put young men together in the prime of there sex drive, and then say when we go to a deployment don't talk to girls or anything, you are going to have those that do the opposite. I will say that in the Deployments we went on we did work 12 hour days. I was involved in about 5 deployments and everybody really liked the work we did. So what ever. It's all good in keeping with what this site normally does. At lest it was creative. HA. I don't think Exer is bitter, just has great fun doing what he does best.

7:07 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

What I want to know is how these ATI moms knew about the actors in "The Patriot"!

10:41 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh, don't even think that most ATI moms are unaware of Mel Gibson. A hunky, strong, masculine father of 7 who loves his wife and loves Jesus so much he made a movie about Him! You bet they rented the Patriot. - a mom

12:25 PM  
Blogger sweetviolet said...

he loves jesus so much, he built his very own jesus loving compound. he's their HERO.

7:38 PM  
Anonymous VeganHunter said...

A key point a lot of commenters are missing is how kick-@$$ all those homeschool-moms are. How could anyone expect the ALERT guys to measure up to that?

The term "bitter" is used by people who are too insecure to take an honest look at valid criticism.

12:06 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The term bitter is also used to describe a festering hate or intense dislike over time. It's a Biblical word and definition, so don't take it too lightly. I think alot of people are bitter at ATI and Bill, and some of it is deserved.

That said, the one common theme seems to be that it is the blind application of Bill's dogma that they don't like. I would blame the parents more than Bill for that. He believes what he says, and lives by it, and it works (apparently) for him. For others I think it is foolish to swallow the whole thing hook, line and sinker. You have to follow what God shows you, not someone else (whoever they are).

2:07 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

as an X-ALERT guy (units 4 and 5) and also a grad of the paramedic program, have the Personal excellence award, Team excellence award, and 14 Scripture memory awards, I think that was one of the funniest things that I have ever read. We used to joke about certain females on the staff up there being diamond factories - feed them coal, and they would pop out a diamond in about a week. Disrespectful, but funny none the less. Learn to take a joke people, and realize that a good poke in the ribs is good for ya'
Keep it up X-er, you rock!

11:13 PM  
Blogger Little Bunny Fufu said...

I am not suprised at the story, i was in unit 28, the unit b4 ALERT went soft, and cadre became "Encouragers", I prolly wouldnt trust my life to the AlERT guys i grad with, lol, but i sure as heck wouldnt with the new way things are done

11:59 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

No, it was after unit 30 when alert went soft. 30 wasn't soft. 31 was.

10:26 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

what was that homeschool mother doing watching such a sinful movie as the patriot? i hear it uses swears, which are clearly not uplifting to the spirit.

4:33 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

YOu guys are crude, mean, and UN-CHRISTIAN to bash the ALERT men like that. Who gave you the authority to do that? I happen to know some awesome ALERT guys who would do anything to protect others, especially the female gender, from harm.

9:54 AM  

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