ALERT men wimp out
SOMEWHERE, Texas - Homeschoolers often note the ubiquitous presence of ALERT men at homeschool conferences, particularly in the vicinity of attractive young women.
During a recent homeschool conference in Somewhere, Texas, however, parents were grieved to witness a shocking display of cowardice. On the second day of the convention, a number of protesters broke past security and began demonstrating in the exhibit hall. The protestors accosted attendees and generally acted in a rude and threatening manner.
A homeschool mother, recalling that ALERT training develops the discipline, character, and skills necessary to prepare men to meet the needs of people in crisis, decided to call upon ALERT men for help. Repeated calls on the walkie-talkie, however, were never responded to by the ALERT men.
"Just think of it," said the homeschool mother. "When the protestors were insulting the virtue of our daughters and attacking our homeschool values, the ALERT para-military boys were hiding!"
This mother and several others had no choice but to act as a human shield to bar the protestors admission to the conference. After engaging in a Red-Rover-type struggle for half an hour, the homeschool mothers finally threw back the protestors.
Soon afterward several ALERT men appeared on the scene, only to be scolded and berated by several irate conference attendees. "The actors in Mel Gibson's movie The Patriot are better trained than you!" said one mother.